6 feet under

I am a pessimist to begin with.

From today onwards, whatever fate has install for me, I will accept without questioning. For I have no rights, my life is not mine, it is for others to claim a part of me, it is for other to dictate how I should live.

So much of people claiming to put my interest at first, but they are expecting nothing but pure materialistic gains from me. All of them telling me it is for my best interest, that is why they do this, that is why they let go. Do I not play any part in it? No, I am after all a torn and tattered puppet, abandoned in my own stage, own world.

Puppet has no feelings, thus I will not feel, will not think, for it does me no good, and by doing so, I will never ever get hurt again.

I am alone. No matter how, I will be alone.

Do you have a rose too?

I had never believe in fairy tales, how could I?

Came across the following excerpt from "Little Prince" when I was in my late teens. Surprisingly, I find it heart warming (even up to now)..

"... When the little prince comes to the earth and sees a huge bunch of roses, he remembers his own flower.

And then he realizes how special his flower is.

He says: "You are beautiful, but you are empty. One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you — the rose that belongs to me.

But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing.

Because she is my rose..."

This rose that you posseses, could be anyone, anything, and everything... As long as efforts has been put in, to nurture and to grow, it will be (in the eyes' of the beholder) the most beautiful rose, and without a doubt, a special position in your heart too.

Sit back and relax...

Favourite restaurant, people watching, nice music, a sip of minty lime elephacino. Blissful.

Abundance of time, cute ribbons, stripes designs, shoes, shopping. Therapeutic.

Japanese cuisine, great friend for companion, sharing of updates. Nostalgia.

Situation seems to have taken a turn recently, it is like being given a second chance to learn how to take things slow. I am so used to going with the flow, to the extent of being L A Z Y.

I enjoy being lazy, free from work schedules, free from planning my next moves, no longer do I insist of following through my plans, I simply let things unfold in front of me.

Others noticed a change in me, (well) it could be for the better or for worse. I just wanna take a breather, a little luxury that I did not allow myself previously. I have been working too hard, making very harsh judgement on myself, I guess it is time for a little "love" me session :)