Thursday, April 25, 2013

The inescapable Rat Race

I have been clearing my leave and recuperating at home for this week. 

All was well until now... ... I am extremely disgusted with people's attempt to tamper with my work, and to discredit me further.  It is also unfortunately an oversight of mine, for not taking that additional step to prevent sabotage.

I was supposed to be doing some "audit checks" on a number of colleagues, and to provide closure on their behalf, something which translates to manipulating the outcome/score of the department customer experience.  I should have rejected upfront when I was first instructed to place that damn file into the common shared folder, it was not at all protected, and anyone can have access to amend the records inside.  I am now being "questioned", and I have provided the "unlawful" an avenue to commit more "crimes".

I should not have been so trusting.  I am the sole person-in-charge of this job, without a maker-checker system in place, this is surely an audit flaw.  I have already pointed that out previously, but I did not pursue any further to implement it.  Again, it's my fault!

This matter involves integrity, not just mine but everyone in the department.  It is very disheartening, when one's effort has been questioned.  I have always put in 110% effort in my tasks, and I did it with pride, just when I am about to leave this place, the dirty hands of office politics finally caught hold of me.

Of course, I have fellow colleagues who knew that I have been doing this diligently.  I am tired of all these nonsense, I had overcome so many years of back stabbing, and I came out clean!  I did not do my very best to foul-proof my work, if the results have been tampered, and I do not keep tab with the findings, then I jolly well deserved this outcome.  Lesson learnt!

Just last week, my department head mentioned about receiving a letter that was sent anonymously to her, a letter that provides a long list of "crimes" committed by our immediate supervisors.  My goodness, how childish can one be? 

Even if there is any element of truth, a letter without a sign-off would lacks the credibility.  My department head was extremely affected by this second "poisonous" letter, and sternly warned us that this will be regarded as a clear indication of insubordination.  Judging from the way she delivered her dagger stares, she clearly has 2 suspects in mind.  Such petty approach would only reflects the maturity of the author, and dampen any future prospects (if any).

My department is well known for its rumour-mongers, gossipers, and back stabbers.   Of course, this letter threw everyone in the department into an red alert mode.  We have new blood coming in to replace the older ones, it is necessary to stem out all negativity to ensure harmonious environment, and to retain capable staffs.

Conclusion:  It is a huge jungle out there, and many big cats are forever sharpening their deadly claws.  Even if I have been making a conscious effort to stay out of the fray, it is almost impossible not to be sucked into this whirlpool of madness.

"It's the strong who comes up on top, one must have power before others will reason with you." 

Of course, one must always exercise power with caution.  The power to change things should never be abused for personal gains.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Written in the scars

This song strikes a chord in my heart...

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Infernal torment

For I cannot show, neither can I tell - the burning hatred of broken promises, big fat pacifying lies, pre-planned betrayal, disappearing acts, disappointments, anger and frustration just consumes me internally.

(Eminem - Love The Way You Lie featuring Rihanna)
"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie"

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Movie: La Luna

Well, I have been watching a couple of movies and bought a few books, mainly to keep myself occupied, after all an idle mind is a devil's workshop.

Writers and directors are brilliant communicators, using explicit and implicit expressions, to convey meanings and messages through books and films, allowing the audiences and readers to gain insights through another perspective. 

La Luna is a short animation clip that was created by Pixar (my favourite animation company), and it runs for only 6 minutes 15 seconds.  It tells a story about 3 generations of men - Grandpa, Son, and Boy.  Not a single dialogue was said, but the paternal affections and love for the boy was clearly felt.

The boy who is coming of age, was given a cap similar to what the men are wearing, and is induce into a new role - cleaning up the debris (lots of fallen shinning stars) on the Moon's surface.  On the moon, the boy then made decisions (which tool to use), and took on challenges that seem too "big" for him (taking on the huge star).  Once the job is done, they climbed back to their boat to admire the effects, and the moon is now a glowing crescent (it was full moon when the clip started, I seriously hope that they didn't take 2 weeks to just clean up the moon :D)

Sometimes, parents/elders must learn to trust their kids, to trust that they will be able to make sound decisions on their own.  Accept the fact that it is alright to fail at doing something, what matters is that lessons must be learnt at the end of the day.  This is often the stark difference between oriental and western parents - domineering vs democratic.

A short, and yet meaningful clip that is definitely worth recommending to all.  Geesh, I am craving for some "Honey Stars" morning cereals now *wiNk*

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

静思

印度伟大的龙树菩萨曾经说过:

“最大的敌人是我执,而不是他人”

我执是轮回中所有问题与痛苦的来源。

哪一天放下了我执, 就能享受当下的清凉。

真能做到的,寥寥无几。满腹经文的,也不一定知索然。

刻意强求不执着,就已经是在 “浊”。

Monday, March 25, 2013

II est vivant? Je Me Tue!

I have just finished watching a French animation "Le Magasin des Suicidés" 《自杀专卖店》that was released in May 2012.   Was watching the original french version along with the chinese subtitles, which had been meaningfully translated. 

The story line was good, and one doesn't need to have a funny bone to appreciate the dark humor in it.  Seemingly depressing but has a positive message behind it.  Definitely one of the best adult animation that truly capture my full attention for 79 minutes, and it has given me some things to ponder through.

Especially love the finale song, and found a few lines that were endearing to my heart.

最后大合唱的歌词写道:

永别了过火行为,终于将自己释放
因此不会再痛苦,美好生活已开始

停止无用的抱怨,幸福需要被找到
留在死亡中永生,非快乐出自本心



Some background information:- The Suicide Shop is a 2012 French animated film directed by Patrice Leconte, and is based on Jean Teule's novel of the same name (Source: Wikipedia).

I need to buy this book!

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

放下。放开。放手。你能吗?



 感情就像手中的沙粒,
 
 
握紧了反而无法拥有;
 

放手了也不一定完全干净。