Age is just a number, it's the wisdom that matters. Well, I guess I have to admit to that, and hopefully I did gain some wisdom as compared to last year.
For those wishes that didn't come true, I will have to continue working towards them.
Give me the strength to overcome all adversity.
Give me the wisdom to see the good in everything.
Give me the will to forgive my own poor heart.
Give me a chance to make things right.
Give me the grace to accept the pain.
How funny it is when I told myself that I must lose some weight, and the next thing is I landed up falling sick :(
No appetite for anything...
Just drift in and out of sleep for the past one week...
This viral infection is so strong that I keep having frequent fever, and temperature is always ranging above 38 degree celsius. If I am to be a princess, I think sleeping beauty will be a wonderful job fit for me.
加油！to my immune system, please fight hard with the remaining good soldiers.
There is this self-denial, near-end-of-life patient, who used to be an ex-model, has a history of losing family members to cancer, and penniless. Her consultant-in-charge told her to make the journey back to her country quick, if not she will not make it.
We had previously written off her huge medical bills as bad debts, and this time she insisted and imposed on us that she wanted to be admitted. Her request is something we could not agreed with: there is no way you gonna enjoy top medical service with minimum or no payment.
We had to turn her away...
I am one of those who agreed not to take her in...
Although we did provide her another alternative: to be admitted into the restructured hospital for the same procedure, but she refused. Last I heard, she has flew back to her homeland... and I wonder how is she...
Right or Wrong?
It just weighs me down...
There is above middle-class income couple, both are professionally employed, yet they insisted on having discounts... we disagreed to it immediately after reviewing their financial status. But the spouse of the patient insisted to bring this up.
Who needs help more? I thought of her, my heart chills... I stood very firm.
It is not guilt that I am feeling, I clearly knows that... it's the helplessness that my tender heart finds it hard to bear. In the face of others' death, I have to be a professional rational businessman. In the face of death, lifes are lost due to the lack of gold.
Last week was our Joint Commission International (JCI), although it is a tri annual event that lasted for only 2 days, but the preparation for it took us more than 1.5 years.
There was a mock JCI survey on my 3rd day at work, and I have been working endlessly to ensure that my chapters do not have any gaps/loopholes that they could picked on (thankfully they found none). In any case, although the surveyors cited a few findings, but we believe that should not affect our re-accreditation.
During the 2 days, my day started at 5:30am, will be in the hospital by 7:30am, and end work at 8:30pm. I was on my feet most of the time, following the surveyors to round up the wards and clinic, going through more documentation checks and interviewing of staffs. By the time they left, most of us just remain blankly seated in the meeting room, enjoying the quiet state of euphoria.
Post JCI dinner on 25 Oct 2013
I am still trying to recuperate from all those tension and all those walking around. Nothing interest me more than my beauty sleep. I slept soundly on Friday, and only waking up near noon time the following day. There are so many things that I wanted to do now:- appointment to the dentist, facial, medical checkups and TCM, etc...
I haven't seen my dentist for 2 months, and I haven't been keeping up with my rubber band regime, he will not be happy with that for sure. I need to have my facial soon, all these tensions and stress are giving me a dull complexion and a breakout :( Need to see my haematologist soon, for I am sure that my low blood count also contributes to my tiredness as well.
If only I can sleep continuously for 24 hours... I need to take leave soon. I am so missing Thai massage now.... :(
Heard this song while I was on my way to work today, it just made me smile :)
It was just like yesterday, when I was in my secondary school days... when I felt tired, misunderstood, lost, and unhappy...
Back then, this song never fails to get me up and about, and I seriously mean dancing to it, with my spirit lifted, arms wide spread out and twirling around *grin*
It has been years since I last heard this, and when I did, I saw my own reflection (in the MRT glass) grinning the minute I heard the prelude to it.
I love what I see: me happily smiling in my floral dress. Something refreshing for my memory, for I seldom have reasons to smile at myself...
"You Gotta Be" by Des'ree
Listen as your day unfolds Challenge what the future holds Try and keep your head up to the sky Lovers, they may cause you tears Go ahead release your fears Stand up and be counted Don't be ashamed to cry
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together All I know, all I know Love will save the day
Herald what your mother said Read the books your father read Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time Some may have more cash than you Others take a different view My oh my, yeah, eh, eh
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together All I know, all I know Love will save the day
Time ask no questions, it goes on without you Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace The world keeps on spinning Can't stop it, if you tried to The best part is danger staring you in the face
Remember listen as your day unfolds Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky Lovers, they may cause you tears Go ahead release your fears My oh my, eh, eh, eh
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together All I know, all I know Love will save the day Yeah, yeah, yeah
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together All I know, all I know Love will save the day Yeah, yeah
Got to be bold Got to be bad Got to be wise Do what others say Got to be hard Not too, too hard All I know is love will save the day
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm...
I am in a midst of minuting a family conference that took place last month in September. It's a very tiring piece of 90 plus minutes recording.
It is so emotionally draining and mentally taxing, because I have to repeatedly listen to each and single word that was exchanged. Those logical point of view from the medical aspects, and in contrast, the family griefs of losing their loved one; this debate within me gets me upset and unusually down:- I struggled between the roles of a medical professional versus being a daughter.
During the first few months of my new job, I spent some time familiarising medical reports of the patients, I have to admit that each medical history scares me... patients of all ages, medical conditions of all kind, huge financial medical bills, long term treatment versus incurable diseases, all are true and sad stories...
Last month, a patient chosen to ended his life, he was a young and successful entrepreneur. I was not shocked when I heard the news, somehow I could understand why he did that, I could relate to how he felt... but at the same time I wonder if he had made a right decision... did he regret the very instant he took the plunge?
Again I question if he ever consider the feelings of his parents? But who am I to judge? Life is very brittle in nature... I know how it feels to be sick for a long period of time, the vulnerability of life, the loneliness in face of illness, honestly there are also many times that I just thought of giving up, but I still have many things in life that I am thankful of... Or I could be just a pure coward...
No one cheats Life. All is fair in the face of Death.
I always love the easy breezy mood that September brings... but this September just went off in a rush :(
Had 4 vaccines just to prepare myself for the Bangkok trip on the 11 September: Polio, Typhoid fever, Hepatitis A and Flu jab. As usual, the Flu Vaccine totally crashed my immune system badly, and I was on Medical Leave right after I came back.
Hospital Management Asia 2013 was a wonderful experience:- 2 days full of interesting talks/sessions by renowned doctors and Asia hospital key personnel, over 800 delegates participating throughout the days . Intensively enriching, but also very tiring. Imagine searching for conference rooms within Shangri-La Hotel, up and about, moving around most of the time to network and correspond with other representatives... Thankfully, I rewarded myself with foot massage daily. I didn't do much sightseeing thou, as the conference ends pretty late at 6pm.
Well, I am definitely planning to go back to Bangkok for a leisure trip, maybe sometime next year, you know, just to walk around, laze around, where I could enjoy daily Thai massage, oil spa and foot reflexology :)
Last month, a patient chosen to ended his life, he was a young and successful entrepreneur. I was not shocked when I heard the news, somehow I could understand why he did that, I could relate to how he felt... but at the same time I wonder if he had made a right decision... did he regret the very instant he took the plunge?
I always love the easy breezy mood that September brings... but this September just went off in a rush :(
Hospital Management Asia 2013 was a wonderful experience:- 2 days full of interesting talks/sessions by renowned doctors and Asia hospital key personnel, over 800 delegates participating throughout the days . Intensively enriching, but also very tiring. Imagine searching for conference rooms within Shangri-La Hotel, up and about, moving around most of the time to network and correspond with other representatives... Thankfully, I rewarded myself with foot massage daily. I didn't do much sightseeing thou, as the conference ends pretty late at 6pm.