Diminishing

I have been losing tons of weight recently, despite trying very hard to keep up with my meals, but I just do not have the appetite to finish them.  There are times when I will gorge myself silly, but there are times where I totally feel no hunger pangs after long hours of empty stomach.

Too many things has been weighing me down. 

Too many things have taken place within a week. 

The paths and decisions that I have made, my life has come through with a lot of self-sacrifices, worries and stress.  I would, of course, wish for a normal life, but since I am at it, I will shoulder it.

But I am glad that there is at least some changes to look forward to, one that channels my attention into something positive, for at least the next 3 months.  The past 11 months were awful: rumination, "supposedly" miscommunication, tears shed, heart wrenching sleepless nights, and of course, abandonment at it's best.

Thank you for making me a fool!  I can only despised myself further. 

If I do not have a lively and cheerful disposition, possess no positive Zen-qualities, bleak outlook in life, and practically not good enough; in short, nothing like your previous.  I have only myself to blame.

The fault is mine.  This pain I will bear unconditionally.