Nostalgia

Met up with my 2 JC babes today. The very first reunion for the trio in 6 years, so much to say, so much to reminiscence, and yet it felt just like yesterday when we are still donning our JC uniforms, and bumping into each other along the corridors & canteen.

Who would have believed that we lost touch for 6 whole years?

I figured out what I sorely missed: their companionship. They have unconditionally accept my imperfections and insecurities. Working in a competitive and fast-paced environment, office politics and strict regulations makes me forget to appreciate the beauty of "slow". While most people judge others by what they wear and carry, they spend quality time with me, and teach me the meaning of a simple life.

Makes me wonder, how much have I "dirtied"myself? All these years, my wish list becomes increasingly hard to fulfil, I have become so self demanding that even my mum could not fathom.

Hey gal, resolution for the 2nd half of Year 2010:- Slow down, take it easy, breathe in fresh air, and most importantly, learn to let go... ...

Back In Action

Hello hello, I'm back! Super long disappearance from this little space of mine. I miss this little piece of me, have been dying to get back to blogging.

Plenty of things happened since my last post:- a change in job role, a change in hair length, a tweak in mentality, a brand new direction, a fresh surge of unhappiness.

Somehow I knew my chances for a promotion were high this year, after all I did fare better than the previous year. I'm a down-to-earth person, where I always believe in doing the best and to wait for the opportunities to come, however I am also fully aware that sometimes I may never get to hear that knock on my door too.

Things just changed almost instantaneously, a 180 degree change in colleagues' behaviour. Well, that I can fathom as their fears finally turn into a reality. Face it, even if this didn't happen, they will still be the eventual losers. Expected heavier responsibility includes managing a team, that is a challenge, for it takes more than just having people's skills, its a whole new set of management skills to be developed. I'm getting the hang of it, and in due course, I will emerge strongly than before.

On 10th April, 3/4 of my hair was axed off. My hairstylist, Catherine, was shocked at my request, because I have been wanting to princess curl my hair. But I hate that haggard reflection in the mirror, so I thought let's freshen up that listless look, restless mood with a new look. Geesh, come to think of it, I have no new pictures to show you yet. Shall try to upload ya =)

Since April till now, speed tripled with the increase of challenges, unknowingly I have invited a new source of pressure into my life. I am indeed a true blue Sagittarius, I hate being tied down. I have a strong ally at work, but she has a nature of an octopus, and her tentacles suffocates me. Not that I'm no good in my work that requires her special attention. But I have the "privilege" of being her PA, at her beck and call. Any non-working hours are my personal time, however her calls never seems to stop, her heavy relying starts weighting me down.'

Today is the start of my leave, will only be back in the office on July '2010. I need a break from her. But in the wee morning today, I was enlightened by an harsh soul, his perspective of my woes is entirely different, "if you cannot manage your boss, how can you manage a team?". That gave me a awakening slap! *oUch*

Indeed, I felt bitter hearing his remarks, but deep inside I know it does make sense. No one can put shackles on me, there are always choices out there. If I have no means to influence uncontrollable factors, at least I have the ability to control my inner self. Easier said than done, but I am willing to try.

Crossroads

Felt breathless...

The minute i stepped into the office, somehow oxygen seems to be sapped out from the air. Is it me, or the people around me? Losing momentum is not something i encounter often, in fact rarely... Strong urge to move, and yet i need to curb myself, force myself to stop and evaluate my options.

New environment would do me good, new challenges, new things to learn. No doubts i will also be crossing path with the same kind, or even more "powerful" colleagues than now. Come what may, I am willing to accept them.

Remaining status quo doesn't guarantee any prospects, job satisfaction is at all times low, the minute I'm off for the day, i could immediately feel the rush of euphoria (no exaggeration at all). I have to admit this used to be my comfort battle zone. Achieving more is not impossible, but i just couldn't find the motivation to do so. I have adopted the "wait-and-see" attitude for so long, diligence and efforts doesn't equate to rewards. Getting recognition from the bosses does feed the egoistic side of me, but yet the monetary value never appreciates along with it. Fellow collegues are of great disappointment as well, plenty of backstabbers and red-eyed monsters.

My lear told me "you are wasting your youth and intelligence away". What worries me is that she might be the only one who thinks that i still have the market value?

Welcome to Taiwan (Part 1)

Spent 6 days in Taiwan. Departure date was on 25th February 2010. It was a short, but spiritual and eventful trip. It wasn't fun at all, because *cough cough* the weak me fell seriously ill during the 3rd day.

Every Taiwanese I came across were gentle, polite and even passionate. But it's comforting to know that most of the Taiwanese ladies "teh" when they speak. Ok, a few of my friends (especially LF) finds me extremely abnormal, as they insisted that I have 娃娃音, oh please *roll eyeball*

Taiwan is famous for their night markets (夜市), so I visited "Feng Jia" (逢甲) and "Shilin" (士林), the former is in Taichung and the latter in Taipei, both sell similar merchandise & served similar food varieties, and I always feel like fainting every time I walked past the ever famous "Stinky Doufu". I had tasted that 16 years ago, wasn't that fantastic, and I still can't stand the unbeatable stench. Sampled the goodies, and I still prefers the baked potato.


Didn't take much photos during the journey, I was terribly tired and sick. Woke up at 3am, went uphill at 5am, start climbing steep slopes at 7am, any moment I lose my footing, I would be rolling myself down. Amazingly I went up and down the mountain safely.



Their washroom is also a killer for me, "Vicks" or medicated oil must be applied before I step into one. I was really looking forward to the end of the journey. I lost 2kg for this trip, and was really in a bad condition when I returned to Singapore. Took me more than 1.5 months to recuperate my health back, my TTSH doctor, chinese physician and my mum all decided that I cannot make another trip out of Singapore that soon.

I can't seem to upload the pictures in my mobile, there is an interesting chinese-english translation I found in Taiwan, so I will be posting them up real soon, once I figured out how to do so.

Have a ROARING good year

Yesterday was the First Day of the Year of Tiger!

Had a "stomach bursting" reunion dinner last night, like what my grandma loves to say, must "饱年饱节"

The first day of Lunar New Year is for the welcoming of the deities of the heavens and earth, officially beginning at midnight. Many people, especially Buddists, abstain from meat consumption on the first day because it is believed that this will ensure longevity and good luck for them. Most importantly, the first day of Chinese New Year is a time when families visit the oldest and most senior members of their extended family. The second day of the Chinese New Year is for married daughters to visit their birth parents. The third and fourth day of the Chinese New Year are generally inappropriate days to visit relatives and friends.

So, my relatives came over for visiting furing the noon time, and after a heavy dinner, we headed over to River Hong Bao "春到河畔", and spent an hour there watching the lights and lantern decorations. By the time we reached home, it was already 11:30pm.

Today i just wanna sit back & relax at home.

Surprise Surprise Surprise

This year my Valentine's Day is much more unique than previous years.

Because Valentine's Day coincides with Lunar New Year this year, hence top priority will be given to the traditional festive season. Just when i least expected it, this came as a BIG surprise. There is a newspaper clip for me (for confidentiality purpose, names have been removed), a nationwide declaration of love *muAhaha*, a card and gift waiting for me in the letterbox.

Another 50 minutes to welcome in the first day of the Year of Tiger, i better go get ready.

Happy Valentine's Day! Cheers to Friendship! Gong Xi Fa Cai! Nian Nian You Yu!

Project Tranformation (E.T to Princess) Part II

Remember my previous post in October 2009?

The 4 new posters were out in January 2010, the circulation within the Organisation started only this month, and my sweet colleague LWC gave me a set of it. As promised to my lear, and my fellow good friends, I've uploaded the poster (without the Organisation Logo/Trademark).

Story behind this poster:- An appreciation gift from my customer. I'm holding a bottle of perfume, and reading a "Thank You" card. The pink shirt was sewed by my mummy.

I'm still having problem getting used to seeing myself in that poster. Pior to this, I only mentioned this to 2 colleagues in my department, so most of them didn't realised anything until they seen the posters. In fact, they should have seen it in a company event in November last year, but i guess the buffet dinner was way too tempting. The other 3 posters depicting other colleagues were superbly taken, and so much nicer than mine.

Since then i have heard plenty of remarks like "your makeup looks weird", "your mouth looks bigger", "how come other posters looked so MTV, while yours so...", "don't look like you leh", "you look older", etc.

I even have someone questioning me whether did i really do what was mentioned in the description given (which i omitted along with the Organisation logo), and gave me a distaste look while returning me the poster, after which she ignored me, and when she saw me with a bouquet of flowers, she even asked whether did i buy it for myself. (Please, do i have to?)

For those who always back stab me, or finds me an eyesore, they kept absolute silent, and pretended it's non-existence. For my supportive friends in other departments, they gave me the thumbs up when they first see it, and has been very encouraging and positively happy for me.

Like what LWC told me, opportunity was given to me because my management endorsed it, i didn't ask for the limelight. Honestly, I didn't realised this is actually a big thing, i thought everybody will be given a chance after they obtained the award (within the Organisation). All this while, my only concern is where to hide myself once the poster is out, I didn't anticipate such malice acts coming along.

However, at least one thing turns out right, I have made my mum proud of her girl.

Adhesive Bandage

Was having a bad real time ever since February started, but i finally smile and laugh today.

He has always been a great source of comfort aka my punching bag *heehee*. We rarely spend time together, but whenever I need a listening ear, he's just a phone call away. Whenever I'm sad, he finds time for me. What more can i ask from someone who never fails me.

I never spend much time nurturing our frienship, how silly of me! Wasted so much time on people who takes me for granted.

I know i am important to him, just as much as he is to me.

But I'm sorry that i always get myself into the same trouble, everytime i get hurt and start running to him with the same injury. *siGh* It's been years, when can i ever get out from that mess? But that day will come.

You know who you are. No comments from you.

Final Words

For male species, you have the right to be moody, but not wear that sullen look for more than 2 weeks.

Whether personal or not, you have no right to pass that contagious mood around. If you do not have any basic courtesy to reply my sms, not once not twice, but on many occasions, you have no right to comment that i am rude. If i am not angered by you, would you be subjected to such gesture? Yes, it was wrong of me, and i will not denied that.

Friends for so many years, since when did you stop to consider and think what is good for me? Have you ever taken care of my feelings, ever make the effort to nurture the friendship? It's only you, yourself! Selfish!

If i do not treasure you, and not concern about your bloody personal problem, would i even bother to ask?

I hate it when you choose to hide and not trash things out. What sort of a man are you? If you are angry, tell me! Sulking and ignoring only makes you a coward! While i was waiting for you during lunch time, you went out without a word, how well mannered are you to make me chew on my breakfast bread?

To hell with all those stupid techniques you learnt in classes, while you busied yourself to identify those traits, have you forgotten to look within yourself, or are you so full of yourself, or you dare not see the real you?

I have no intention to forgive this incident. We have been arguing on so many occasions, about work, about awards. Your last remark to me "I do not wish to argue with you". Do you think that you are a real gentleman by holding back your tongue?

You are invisible to me from that moment onwards.