Mirror mirror, tell me a lie

I have many fears and phobias, in fact too many to name, yes (i admit) I'm a scary cat!

Unlike girls and ladies of all ages, I'm suffering from Spectrophobia - a fear of mirrors and one's own reflections. Must be those scary movies which i watched when i was young, where reflection was actually left behind in the mirror long after the person is gone. I'm comfortable only with objects that reflect my image without any colour. Don't ask me why.

I avoid mirrors and cameras at all cost. I look awful on photos, those stupid pictures magnified my (FAT!) chubby face, zoomed into my flaws (pimply zombie complexion), and it really add ages to my already old and sagging face. Trust me, this phobia runs in the family, across generations, none of us loves to take pictures.

Tell me, how stupid is it to smile at that tiny weeny rectangular box, how can i be natural when i know that the camera doesn't love me? Stop telling me to loosen up and think happy thoughts, I simply can't think straight when a camera is within 5 metres radius from my comfort zone. It's absolute hatred between me and camera, it failed to capture the truth about others, and it generously exposes my faults.

Last week, i nearly fainted when i received an (super duper scary) edict. Just when i barely recovered from the previous one, this latest one resulted in rapid heart palpitation for almost half a day. My heart is of a smaller built-in, irregular heart beats always makes me see "stars".

Oh my goodness! Arghhh, I'm breaking out in cold sweats now... ...

Entertainment on the go

Today, I swopped my black PSP (bought in December 2008) for a red PSP. The black one was super un-hackable and un-modifiable.

I'm a non-serious gamer, yes you heard me right, I'm not a serious gamer, so what the hell do i want a PSP for? Well, at first i wanted something that provides me audio and visual entertainment on the go.

I started playing "Maplestory" in Year 2007, but sadly it doesn't keep me occupied for long. Then i took on a new game "Audition", again it does nothing to maintain my interest as well. It's been a year since i last logged in to both games.

This new PSP is full of different genres of games, but most of the games (i.e. wrestling, mahjong, shooting) doesn't interest me much. However, it is a source of comfort when i need to de-stress, you can easily find me hiding in Starbucks with my favourite "Blackcurrant Raspberry Blended Drink", gaming away to divert my mind away from work during lunch time.

Since the hefty investment has been made, and there are already some scratches at the back. That goes to show that I haven't been shelving it. Hopefully it doesn't become obsolete to me that soon.

Candidacy for politics

No chance for a breather until today, well you see, I'm on 3 days leave! *yeah*

Too little time everyday and yet so much unhappiness.

Strangely how people always keep themselves busy to stop remembering those unpleasant incidents. Isn't this a kind of self-denial behaviour? Maybe it works temporarily, but is it good to shelve those negative feelings, and not address it properly?

Many kind souls out there chosen to swallow their grievousness, so as to avoid any unnecessary conflicts with others, but this accumulated negative emotions will also turn inwards and exploded in within.

Why are we giving in to bullies? Why must the bullies, again and again, taking advantage of our good natured character? Just because we embrace peace and harmony, doesn't mean you have the privilege to drive us up the wall!

Last month was a miserable month at workplace. In fact, I'm still suffering from unreasonable tantrums, unjustifiable behaviours and stares from "someone".

"Someone" is throwing her weight around coz she's on close term with my boss's lieutenant, who is again actually "Nobody". Let's set the record straight, I was on friendly terms with "Somebody" until recently, that's when i decided i could no longer tolerate her inhumane threats and her hostile criticism towards my fellow colleague.

Just because she has found her resting place to rot, and has been surviving on her limited abilities for the last decade, how can she expect people to stall their progression? I had enough of her threats, just because she's a "supervisor", doesn't mean I'm subjected to her nonsense. She wanted me to drop out from a project "bestowed" by the top management, and told me right in the face that if i insist to go ahead, then i cannot take any MC. What a tall order to fulfill!

When being exposed of her deeds, "Someone" offered fanciful explanations to the top management. She came back with her stony black face (think bloated black toad), and has been unhappy with me since then. Stop hiding behind those deceitful lies. Her deeds speak for themselves.

Of course my ill feelings towards her didn't just happen. I have been tolerating and such anger has been accumulating for years. Just 2 days back, she raised her voice to whoever interested to hear, "You on leave AGAIN!!!", damn you lah (I'm not going to mind my language on such LC creature). My fellow colleague can vouch for me that i haven't been going on leave.

I really see no point in working along with her. I'm not going to give in this time, it's just one time too many, why should i be considerate to someone who has been tactless with my feelings?